President Elect Obama

I was very excited by Tuesday. I think that that was the best birthday gift I could have gotten. I'm so happy for Obama and this country that I might actually take that day in January to see him inaugurated. But throughout the week, I can't help but feel a little disappointed in some non Obama supporters and how they are behaving. And I'm not going to make this an angry blog, because I'm too happy that something like this has happened and no one, no where is going to ruin it for me and the people who really understand why this is significant. My brother and I were really thrilled. It's a great experience.

One example was today. We went out to lunch for my birthday and a supervisor at my job (different woman than the lunatic nut case) said that her daughter sent her an email with a song showing what the new national anthem should be. And the anthem was just monkeys and gorillas grunting. How disgusting. My grandfather used to be called names like that. My ancestors were slaves. But I never mention my grandfather or his color (black)or my grandmother and her color (caucasian) to anyone in conversation because it didn't define who he was and why would I?...is it important? He was a honest person who worked so much in his lifetime without a day off that we were getting compensation checks after his death two years after the fact. I honestly don't think about it. But even without that background for myself...something like that "joke" would disturb and really hurt a lot of people whether they were white, black or purple. She thinks black people should get over "it". Many people do. But I don't see people saying something that harsh to Jews. And the ignorance of it just hurt me because it underscores Obama's achievements. I wanted to cry when she said that. I wanted to yell at her. But I didn't. I wanted to be better than her. But it makes me think about my relatives because thats why I feel the direct insult.

And its not just her. I live in New York. One of the most diverse and populated states. If people are feeling this way here...whats going on in the rest of the country where there were states that really wanted McCain. I'm afraid for Obama because there is anger that is worth noting because it could mean his life. And another person at my job said they are disgusted with Americans.

My boss already blames Obama for the Dow Jones plummeting for the past two days and thinks its because Obama was elected. It's a joke.

One of the men at my job, Joe. He said he was disappointed because he doesn't trust Obama. He thinks he's a socialist and a radical. I explained to Joe that thats how most of us have felt for the past 8 years.Someone who doesnt care about me, about my money, about my healthcare is running the country and really ramming everything we stand for into the gutter. I tried to bring up the point to him that government jobs (like ours) are understaffed and we are exhausted for a reason. He agreed. So I said "Obama is going to change that because he believes in bigger government, isn't that a good thing, more help, more people to help people". And Joe paused, had nothing to say and still said "I don't agree with big government". So even though he'd make more money, he'd get better insurance, he'd have less job stress, and he'd still have all the rights he loves...he refused to support him. I'm not trying to get people to love Obama. And I've been deliberately quiet because I don't want to shove it in peoples faces that a democrat won because I know its sensitive for them.

But on the same side, they aren't being sensitive to me. People know I'm pulling for him.They aren't giving him a chance. They aren't giving me a chance to enjoy this, or to believe in him, or to at least think we can actually all be equal without calling someone a name. People are making racist jokes and actually thinking its funny. Racism isn't over, it's just in another form which I believe states the obvious. It's a little more subtle but its there. But now that people are acting the way they are...I'm seeing why this is far more significant than I could have imagined because the thought process of people... on someone younger politician who is progressive and a person of many different colors is that he's going to ruin everything because he's different. I'm not sad...just disappointed. But you know what?...I'm betting a million bucks Obama has heard all of this garbage and slander and racism before and it still didn't stop him. I'm not going to be angry, I'm not going to be bitter, I'm just going to know its there and that acknowledging it in someone so ignorant will bring me down too. This win was for everyone of every color. And I'm proud of it. I realize that Hillary didn't win for a reason. Not because she wasn't capable (she's more than ready) but this was his time to be President. Right now. And I think she realized that too because she worked her ass off for him, and that makes me proud too.

Actually, maybe my lack of sadness is a half truth. I am slightly sad. But I'm only sad because my grandfather, who I remember as a proud Navy soldier, not JUST a "black" man, and my great uncle (his brother), who I remember as a hardworking New York Times employee and the most generous person alive, and my grandmother, who was Caucasian and dealt with resistance but I only remember being a really good cook), would have loved to see this. For some reason I think it means more to them then he does to me.